I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous, I'm shaking in my non-existent boots! I just got asked to come in for an interview! My local rink is currently looking for new recruits and I just got asked for an interview!!! I'm so excited and so happy! I just have to make sure I'm not getting my hopes up too high, because what if - just what if - I make the interview but don't get hired? I don't want to get my hopes up too high only to get disappointed afterwards. I still have to make a good impression at the interview.
Oh my god. What do I wear!? Is a skirt too much? I don't think I even have pretty, semi-formal shoes to work with a good outfit! I used to have flats that would work so well, but I threw them away ages ago and I don't have any other pair of suitable shoes! I need to go shopping!
I've been wanting to work at my rink since I first got into figure skating, back when I was 12 years old! I'm 19 now. I've been waiting basically six years now! I've even applied to the rink before when I was 14-15 years old. I didn't get accepted. I don't want to feel that disappointment again the way I did when I first submitted an application.
Oh, god. Please hire me.
Sometimes, I wonder if I'm skating because I love the sport, or if really, it's because I'm a really competitive and envious person and I'm just trying to be better than other people. I won't name them, but I find myself really bothered by it, especially considering the two-year long break I took from skating. Sometimes, I think to myself, just where would I be in my skating had I not taken such a long break?
All my skating friends and I took a break around the same time. After coming back to skating, I started feeling like, I had to surpass where my friends were, and land my damn axel. My closest skating friends both had theirs before their break. I was just starting on mine. Worst part is that one of them had their on-ice axel. Like, before the break, I already knew they had their off-ice axel. However, just a couple of weeks ago, they were telling me a story that happened to them and it mentioned them doing an axel....on the freaking ice. It hit me right in my pride and my envious, competitive nature. It pissed me off the rest of the day that I just started feeling discouraged to even practice that session anymore.
Meanwhile, only just this past weekend, my envy and competitiveness crippled again. I hate it, but I can't seem to get over my pride, and start acting like an immature, spoiled kid who didn't get what she wanted. I hate being taught by someone who isn't a qualified coach. Yeah, whatever, I get it. You're in a higher level than I am. But don't go teaching me things to fix an element that even you struggle to do. I don't want to go into too much detail. I chose not to say names for a reason and if I explain the story even more....
Anyways, again, my anger at the situation and at myself turned me off from practice. Yeah, again. My skating is so important to me. And I'm letting my attitude get in the way of being better than who I was the previous training session. I should be focusing on that instead of stupidly being a competitive idiot with the pride of a fucking loser.
Whatever. Over and out.
Oh dear, oh me, oh my. It's been two years since I've touched this website, and two years since I officially took a break from skating due to VCE commitments. It is now June 5, 2017 11:50PM, and I am back on the ice.
I officially started again on Wednesday April 19, when the Preliminary Prep class I had enrolled for began. However, I didn't do any spins and jumps in the session, and so I decided to add Friday in as another full day to skate and practice. A three-hour training session. And, boy, was I rusty. I've lost my backspin, most of the footwork I was working on back then and my spirals. I had lost my camel, my layback, and especially my sit spin. My current progress now? I've picked up where I've left off. I just need to get my backspin back, so I can get back to working on my back camel, back sit, and flying camel. I've even lost my flip jump, which is my favourite jump next to loop jump. I seem to struggle with getting it back lately.
And don't even get me started on the weight I've gained since I started slowly disconnecting from skating. It's a struggle now to be at skating for six hours in one day, much less my current three-hour sessions. I want my spins back, my jumps back--EVERYTHING back. I miss it all.
It's nice to be back home.
I'm like, really panicking here, guys. THE TEST IS COMING UP IN A COUPLE WEEKS OR SO AND I HAVE TWO JUMPS I CAN'T DOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I've been practicing these jumps but I don't see much improvement! I really want to pass the test this time and get into Preliminary.
Although, I guess I know one reason why I don't see much improvement. Lately, I haven't been practicing much because recently I've made a lot of friends at the Icehouse who go every Sunday too, just like me. And so, I'm getting distracted in mucking around with them instead of training. T_T I'm glad today that I told one of the girls (the main one I hang out with) that I'd rather train at the moment, and so she let me. The thing is, I always feel bad afterwards. It's always like that, even with friends who straight away don't even need to tell you that you can just walk off without saying so to start spinning or something. Even with that, I'm thinking, "Oh, I should be hanging out with them" but then my skating is just as important to me as my friends are to me. I guess just don't like having much friends around when I'm at skating, because I want to practice yet at the same time, I don't want to seem snobby and rude and be like, "Oh, my skating is so much important than you. I don't wanna hang out with you, sooooo I think I'm just going to practice as a way of avoiding you." OMG, I'm fucking (excuse the language) ranting off like shit (excuse the language again) right now. You know what, my skating is important and I'm just going to say, "Sweetie, I love you but I have to ditch you right now so I can practice for my upcoming test. BYE~!" Yeah...that sounds good. Yeah, I'll just say that. I seriously can't be fucked in saying anything else.
But enough of me ranting, so pretty much, my sit spins have improved as well. I am so much lower than I was weeks ago AND I'M SO GLAD OF THAT. YESS~! I just hope I finally get my flip and waltz-loop jump soon. TT^TT
Hi guys! Sorry for not posting in a while. I have no excuse for doing so. :/
But anyways, last year during the Term 4 test, I DID NOT PASS. But oh well. :) My coach told me that I was sooooo close that he thought I was going to pass for a second, if it wasn't for my waltz-loop jump and my flip. But oh well. I don't mind. I understand that I need more practice, because I can't land my flip yet and I can't seem to get into a loop right after the waltz jump.
The Christmas Show however, oh my god, I LOVED IT! I hope I can join again this year but I'm not sure considering the expenses just to join in. It's quite funny actually. We have to pay the Medibank Icehouse to perform for the Medibank Icehouse's Christmas Show. Shouldn't it be them paying? Haha, oh well.
Now just recently, I thought that my sit spin was good but nooooooooo. After recording a video of it, I realised that I wasn't low enough! >.< OMG I must practice practice practice now. Here is the YouTube video of my sit spin. It's horrible, yeah!? Haha, I just need to get it lower now but oh well. :)
Haha! Sorry everyone for not updating my blogs lately. I guess I'll be honest, I forgot! I know, bad excuse. But at least I'm updating now!
Anyways, the Medibank Icehouse is showing a Christmas Show in December again this year, and I am in it! Yay! It's not what I expected, but indeed I'm having fun. We've only started the rehearsals, so there's not much special things going on, but I will be performing in a few songs. I am in "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year", "I am the Walrus", "Poker Face" and the finale! I don't think we find out our costumes yet until closer to the performing day, but rehearsals are definitely going by fast and I can't wait for the actual day!
I haven't updated much about my progress, but one thing's for sure, I am now in Youth Freeskate 4! I've gone a long way, and still a long way to go! After Freeskate 4, I'll be in Preliminary. Preliminary isn't listed in the Medibank Icehouse's skate school, so I need to figure out how to get into Preliminary if I ever pass my Freeskate 4 test. I'm going to ask someone I know who's passed her Freeskate 4 test.
At the moment, I am working on my camel spin (needs a bit of work in the amount of revolutions, but at least I got the basic position right), loop jump (landed it a few times, but still needs a lot of work), Lutz (Luts, loots, however you want to pronounce it. Needs A LOT of work. Can't seem to get the full rotation) and heaps more to work on. I get the feeling that I won't pass this test, because of my Lutz, but I hope I get it right soon.
Just yesterday, during public skating, I fell over (just by pathetically standing there, I didn't fall from jumping or spinning... -.-) and hit my head. Thank goodness it was nothing. I only tend to forget things from moments before but now I'm fine. I head doesn't hurt anymore and it's not stopping me from attending Christmas Show rehearsals tomorrow! >:D
Test day....the day that would determine whether I was skilled enough to make it to Freeskate 3. I was pretty nervous. My body was so tense, even during the practice before my lessons. Then as soon as lessons started, I couldn't stop making quick, short breaths.
I hated my crossfoot spin. I mean, I can do it, but you know, it's like those times where one time, you can do it and then the next you can't. It was probably just my stiff and tense body that didn't allow fluency to flow through my spin, but I was finally able to do it.
I was more worried about my crossfoot spin, everything else was fine but I still couldn't help but be nervous. I mean, I could end up stuffing up and not be able to pass. I still need work on my pivots--both inside and outside--but I still did it right during the test.
There was the change of edges, that was easy even though I had one side where that needed more balance. Apparently, as long as the circle I travel on the edge is big enough, then I could pass the change of edges. That's what I did, the circle I travelled was big enough for me to do it well.
We also had to do our inside spirals. One side was a bit shaky, which was my right inside but I still made it through. Then there was my left inside. It was the best, if not perfect. I guess I'm better on my left. Even my left outide spiral is better than my right.
We also had to do two jumps: salchow and half flip. I'm confident in my jumps. Jumps are what I'm best at. So I didn't have anything to worry about there.
Overall, I passed my test (YAY!). So now, next term I'll be doing Youth Freeskate 3. Sadly the others didn't make it. The fact that the others didn't and only I did made me feel bad. They all worked so hard to get this far, and I hope they don't give up skating just because of it. They did a really great job and I know they all have the potential. They just need to open up more.
We were all also given a sheet of paper that regarded the Rising Stars Program. I don't really know what it's fully about but it's mainly a time when skaters can come to the Icehouse for extra practice with coaches. While I was walking away, reading the information on the paper, one of the girls in my class tapped my shoulder. I looked at her and she told me how I should join in the Rising Stars and how fun it was. She also told me "Congratulations" for passing. I felt bad for her. I know how I would feel if I didn't make it through this test. So I tried to help by responding, "You did a great job". She smiled and said thanks. Later on, when I saw her in the cafeteria, I could tell she was close to crying. So she walked out and I'm guessing she went to the toilets for a bit of lone time. I pitied her. I wouldn't be able to handle it either if I didn't pass. But I did, and even though I should be happy, I wasn't. I guess my sympathy for the others took over my joy for passing.
In the meantime, a friend of mine went ice skating that day for some public skating. She was there to spend time with me, considering we don't go for figure skating lessons on the same day anymore. Had quite the fun actually. But I can't help but still feel bad for the others in my class...
I was just at the Icehouse, practicing during the public session. All of the sudden, a member of one of the Icehouse's synchronized team, Finesse approached me with a pamphlet about how Finesse was looking for new members. She told me how Finesse were training to compete in Victorian Championships and the Australian Championships in Brisbane, including Nationals. Hearing this, I was so excited and told my mum about it as soon as she picked me up.
Unfortunately, one of the training sessions are on Friday mornings, and I have no way to get from the city to school without having something to bring me. I would also need more than 1 hour to get to school, considering the city is pretty far from where my school is located.
I kept trying to find out how to get around the situation and join in because I really wanted to compete, but my mum told me to leave it alone and wait for another opportunity. I did, and I am leaving it alone, but I can't help but feel devastated about it. I was really hoping to join in and I was even working hard to see a way around the situation. Oh well.
Time to move on....
Second lesson back and I was excited. At least until we all had to do crossfoot spins. At first I was like, 'Oh no!' in my head. But then I thought, 'It's better off for me to try today considering I'm actually being taught the steps to it.' So, I got up all my courage to try the spin again.
It was okay. I didn't fall over. Slowly, I got used to it. Even though I was close to falling over a few times, I still practiced my spinning. I'm actually pretty proud even though I didn't ace it. I'm proud because I persisted in spinning despite falling over so shockly last week. I'm pretty proud. ^^
My first lesson as a Freeskate 2 figure skater was okay. All we did was outside pivots and a little bit of outside spirals. So, first lesson was easy on me. I'm glad about that~~
Unfortunately, during public skating I was trying crossfoot spins without even being taught how to do it first. So then, I slightly lost balance during the spin and quickly tried to put my foot back. Because I retreated my foot too quickly when I lost balance, I fell over and stratched my leg. OUCH! I kind of got nauseous after looking at the scratch, not because of sight of blood but more likely because I got suprised from the fall. Although, my wound wouldn't stop bleeding, so I guess in a way the blood made me nauseous.
It was a a bit of a big wound but not that big. So I was fine after that. I would have kept skating but then I had to leave. I might as well since I was at the rink for 5 hours already. I had a good rest when I got home. I'm glad about that. :)
Mara Isabel Santos. 19 years old. Currently in Freeskate 4 working on Preliminary. :)